One of the most important ways to find inner joy is to voice it. Find a supportive friend or family member and explain how you feel, how you want to feel, and articulate how you might get there. Not only does this get the idea out in the open and off your chest, but it will encourage your journey.
It will also likely lead to moments when others are willing to help you find moments of joy. Remember: People cannot help you if you are not available or vulnerable. “To create space for yourself and joy, you need to have conversations: with yourself and others,” she notes. “That may come in the form of journaling or venting with other parents.”
For example, Lasan says, talk to your parents if they are around—even about the hang-ups expressed in the above point. “You’ll likely find that you and your parents were going through similar things,” she says. “Talking to them is a way to glean advice and even break bad habits.”
Or, she says, even your kids can be there for you: “Kids aren’t dumb: They are intuitive and emotionally intelligent. If they pick up on the fact that you are having a reaction that is perhaps larger than the situation, they see these things. From there, they may internalize that they did something wrong, even if the problem isn’t totally their fault,” says Lasan. “But if you can talk to them, they’ll be better able to understand where you are coming from: That you, too, need time to rest and rejuvenate. Express to them how they are feeling at any given moment and they’ll learn, too, that they can express their emotions.”