Client Testimonial: Darrian’s Endometriosis Journey – The Organic Dietitian

Darrian is one of our amazing clients that went through our VIP one-on-one 6 month program. Turning to us for a more holistic approach to her endometriosis that left her in pain most days after she was frustrated with what she was being offered by her doctors. This is her story to help inspire you to take control of your health. Her words with inspire you for sure!

Sara K 00:04

All right Welcome, everyone. Thank you so much for watching this. So I am here with one of our amazing clients Darrian. I talked to her last week in one of her sessions and she was so interested in sharing her story. I know so many women out there struggle just like she did, you know, whether it’s with endometriosis, or whether it’s any other hormonal imbalance or woman’s condition. And she was at a point in her journey where she’s really compelled to talk more about her experience and what she went through in an effort to really help other women going through a lot of the same things.

So I really appreciate you Darrian for being willing to share your story because I think a lot of women sometimes live in the closet so to speak when it comes to their health conditions because they either don’t have people around them that understand and think it’s problem, you know, and so they oftentimes kind of suffer in silence thinking that that’s just the normal thing. So we appreciate you being here and sharing all of this with us. So, what I thought we could start with is just kind of sharing your journey a little bit like what symptoms you were experiencing, when did it start and kind of what was your journey to getting diagnosed? What what solutions were you being offered?

Darrian  01:39

Yeah, so it started and when I my symptoms developed, or they got worse as I was exploring, and different hormonal birth control, and I was trying a few different things and started getting some very strange symptoms.

I was experiencing pelvic pain and bloating and different types of, of pain and urgency with urination and just a mixed bag of things where I had to see different doctors for different issues. And I could never really get a clear answer from anybody because a lot of my results or discussions would end with things seem perfectly fine, you seem perfectly normal. And I knew that something was wrong because I had definitely experienced a change a few years ago, so I had generally not had these symptoms and not had painful periods, had not had random pelvic pain and then I experience A little bit of a shift and looking for different types of birth control IUDs.

And so that really kind of led me to look at what was happening on my own. I wanted to look at my symptoms as a whole. And I really felt like as I was looking with each individual doctor, there was really not a holistic look at all of my symptoms, they really just want to focus on one area. So that caused me to want to look and research more about the symptoms that I was having. And I felt that I kind of self diagnosed myself with endometriosis. Much later it took a really long time. But I knew that I wasn’t really getting the answers that I needed. From the doctors who are focused, you know, on each specific area, so I had a doctor and nurse practitioner that I was seeing that unfortunately never mentioned endometriosis to me.

She recommended that I see other doctors. She did not want to explore my issues. And so that led to prolonged pain, prolonged symptoms, and then eventually, what drove me to a place of kind of leaving that doctor and striking out on my own to look at look at my symptoms a different way.  Yeah, so pretty much the doctors that you went to either weren’t really doing anything and just said everything was fine, or what kinds of things what kind of tool you’re using to kind of try to figure out what was wrong or were they even? Um, yeah, I would have exams. I had ultrasounds. And I would have, you know, depending on the issue different things, seeing if my bladder was empty because I was just having all kinds of strange pelvic symptoms. So I was going to any urologist or doctor to understand, you know, what are these new symptoms? So they would run kind of, I would probably describe them, my guess is basic tests, or we would have really surface level discussions, and then I would leave without answers or being told that my symptoms perhaps were not as intense or as life altering, because they maybe viewed it as mild, like the pelvic pain was viewed as happening here and there, therefore probably didn’t seem serious, which was really hard for me because pelvic pain was new, or had increased in intensity, but wasn’t necessarily debilitating yet. So I felt like yeah, my symptoms weren’t viewed as intense enough to be explored further beyond the basic level tests.

I was told that my IUD was possibly had possibly created an internal infection like a vaginal infection. And so I had a few ultrasounds for that but everything was normal. And I was given a few rounds of antibiotics to treat a infection, an infection that I didn’t have a lot of symptoms for beyond pelvic pain, which in hindsight, looking back at that, um you know, I just didn’t have some of the other symptoms that would show that I had an infection but I was taking Antibiotics so they really want to get out of pain. I had felt like possibly my symptoms had you know, started and gotten more intense with an IUD so I thought okay, I’m gonna keep taking these antibiotics on the second round of antibiotics I was prescribed them, but I just decided not to pick them up because I did not feel you know, really my own intuition was telling me that this was not the issue because the first round had done nothing to improve my symptoms and it was the same doctor just doing you know, another prescription. So yeah, I kind of had basic level testing discussions, prescriptions. That didn’t solve my issues, or really even identify what my diagnosis really was. It was definitely a kind of whack a mole of of you know, ways to treat things.

Yeah, you know, it’s a it’s a common story. Unfortunately, it sounds like they didn’t even know that you had an infection. They were just guessing based on a symptom and then giving you an antibiotic like they didn’t test. Maybe do like a vaginal swab and see if there was an infection, you know, anything like that there? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I had exams. It’s possible. It’s been a few years, there may have been a swab. I don’t specifically remember that. But yes, it was never that there was clearly an infection that needed to be treated. It was this is our best guess. So let’s just try and solve it with this.

Sara K  08:50

So it’s kind of like A they’re not really listening to you that well as far as how your symptoms are. And I feel you on that because when I was diagnosed with a fibroid It was like, Oh, we don’t do anything until you start to have a lot of symptoms, ya know? So it’s like, oh, you have to be, you know, falling over for us to do any sort of intervention and even then it’s not really going to address the cause. So, tell me a little bit about the symptoms as far as like, how were they affecting your life.

Darrian  09:27

So they were affecting my life at random times, which became extremely frustrating many times with endometriosis, you tend to have very painful periods or it’s viewed as a it’s viewed in that way that you have heavy, painful periods. That is true. I think for some generally my experience with endometriosis has been that it affected all aspects of my life. Regardless, if I was on my period or not, I had extremely painful, pelvic, you know, issues and bloating randomly anytime during the month. So my symptoms started, I would say, with random pelvic pain. I remember specifically being on the phone with someone in my car, in the grocery store parking lot, just having a conversation and I would I had a random kind of bout of pelvic pain, where I had to hang up the phone.

That was really at the beginning, when I knew things were wrong, but expressing that to a doctor doesn’t show I don’t have anything to show for that. I just have my own experience. And so that didn’t lead to anything but I yeah, I was having random, pelvic pain and then As things progressed, I felt also like I was having urgency and frequency with urination, which is just a I mean, it kind of falls into the endometriosis bucket at the time I didn’t know that. And then as time went on, I felt like my periods were changing, I was also changing my birth control thinking that that was going to help the issue or is possibly the cause. So I got my IUD out. I was trying other forms and so I felt like my period was a bit inconsistent. That may be explained why my periods were heavier or lighter. I had inconsistency but eventually settled into a heavier period, unlike anything I had had, you know, in my 25 in my life since before my period, so I did not normally have heavy periods. I had pretty Light periods, but then they got heavier, longer and very intense pain. So eventually the pain was really the driving factor behind eventually seeking surgery. So my periods just became my cramps before leading up to my period and during my period were unbelievably excruciatingly painful I would take off work or I would have to change my life In order to manage that pain.

I eventually considered having to manage my pain with drugs like Percocet, which would then preclude me from really being present at work or driving. So, when it got to that point, I started seeking Um, like a surgical option and looking further into understanding and diagnosing myself, and having a doctor diagnosed me with endometriosis.

Sara

Yeah, tell us a little bit about the surgery and kind of what that was like, and just a result of that.

Darrian

Yeah. So I decided to see a different doctor from the one who had been prescribing me antibiotics. And I decided to see and just switch and at that point, I kind of knew that I had endometriosis, or that it felt like all of my symptoms lead to that. So I had a meeting with a new doctor. I went in, kind of sat down and said, I think I have endometriosis and I’m here you know, to consider treatment. Hopefully it isn’t surgery which is generally and the best standard of care for endometriosis so I talked to him about that and it happened very quickly. He agreed generally looking at my symptoms, and I had a couple of ultrasounds but they don’t diagnose endometriosis. The only way to diagnose the disease is through surgery, laparoscopic surgery and getting your tissue then tested.

So I was 99% sure that that’s what I had but had to have surgery in order to do that. So I I had the surgery I definitely had some skepticism. It’s difficult with endometriosis to have really great excision surgery. There’s only a handful of surgeons and OB’s who can perform that surgery. And women intend to fly all over the country and all over the world trying to find an excision specialist based on you know, their symptoms or what, what the progression of their endometriosis is, so I considered doing that. But I think a little bit of self doubt kind of creeped in and I thought maybe I don’t have endometriosis at all, I probably shouldn’t fly halfway across the country to have a surgery that might not lead to that I’ll just do this right now, you know, here locally, and I was also keen to make progress. So yeah, I kind of went the route that was closest and most local to me. To get an excision surgery here in Salt Lake City, and I was officially diagnosed.

Which it was mixed feelings, it was a lot of validation. And then also a lot of sadness that was, you know, the thing that I was facing and kind of all the years that had been lost looking for answers. So, I had that surgery, it’s fairly straightforward. It’s outpatient. And yeah, received an official diagnosis and was hoping that surgery would lead to a huge reduction in pain and a huge reduction in my symptoms specifically, you know, bloating and just general malaise and, you know, loss of energy. I was really hoping that that was going to make me you know, 90% better

Sara K  17:00

And did it?

Darrian  17:01

ahhh. No. So I had my surgery and I will say and I think a lot of people with endometriosis experienced this that after surgery, you do feel different, you immediately feel a difference. If you have excision, there’s a couple different ways to remove endometriosis. Excision is the best way to do that. But I did not feel like after six months post surgery that my pain and my day to day discomfort was hugely reduced.

The first few months I thought were better. But as time went on, and that six month mark, I really felt like I did not have an improvement. I did not see an excision specialist. So that was something I also thought about I wanted to possibly consider surgery again. So when I started having those thoughts I was just thinking I need to take this even more into my own hands than I already had because the idea of just hopping from surgeon to surgeon trying to get pain relief was really not a future that I wanted.

A common thing that happens with women who have endometriosis is that they are at times told that pregnancy can resolve their symptoms. And I was told that in my journey after my first excision surgery that I should consider getting pregnant or pursuing pregnancy as a form of treatment for endometriosis, and that was a very big wake up call for me. Because I did not want to pursue pregnancy to treat my illness. That is not in my mind how I wanted to become pregnant. So I really had a wake up call when I had that discussion with a doctor following my first my my only excision surgery.

Sara K  19:50

Yeah, not the best reason to bring a baby into this world. To help with symptoms, right. So Tell us kind of about your journey to finding something more holistic.

Darrian  19:59

Yeah. So I started looking for more support groups. I wanted to talk to more women with endometriosis, I had an idea or thought that what I ate could impact my symptoms. I mean generally with your pelvis and stomach, it’s like all you know, was it what I’m eating, could I treat this in a different way? I knew I had endometriosis. That was totally confirmed. I was learning a little bit more and I was scratching the surface of understanding how lifestyle post surgery could help your symptoms. So at the time had put a second surgery on hold, and I just wanted to kind of let my surgery that I had had lie and try and just help my symptoms generally. I don’t think I was out to cure my endometriosis but just see all right Should I make some lifestyle changes to help how I feel. And so I was exploring that but I was actually pretty discouraged.

I on my own would do like a one week eating of a dietary regimen that I didn’t feel like helped. I tried fasting because I knew I was always feeling sick to my stomach feeling extremely bloated so I tried and you know, not eating to see if that would help my symptoms. And that was I would say kind of like a secondary low point and there was definitely the low point in considering pregnancy as a way to help my symptoms, but after that, as I was exploring other avenues, I would say I had a secondary low point in what I felt like I had fasted for nearly two days and was still extremely bloated and felt sick.

I was so frustrated that I had eaten nothing, and still felt unwell. So that was hard. I had kind of jumped into Facebook groups or online communities that were doing challenges or making tumeric lattes and things like that trying to implement kind of a anti inflammatory diet. So I was dabbling but not really taking it seriously or doing a real kind of systematic approach. And I was expressing all of this at the time to my sister who is a dietitian and I was just talking about my frustrations mainly around the fasting and she recommended and had seen you so she told me Hey, like you should check this out. These are programs This is actually truly an approach that has a holistic, you know, plan and isn’t a one week, seven day or 48 hour approach and you should look into something that is a bit more structured for you that covers your full you and also your hormonal health, which was really kind of the first time I had been introduced to that concept.

Her encouraging words kind of brought me out of the dabbling, scratching the surface of my approach to lifestyle changes and yeah.

Sara

Well, I thank her I haven’t met her, but I thank her. Well, I think that’s really powerful there. You kind of mentioned scratching the surface, you mentioned dabbling, and it’s something we see a lot, you know, and there’s nothing wrong with starting to make changes on your own, maybe doing a more anti inflammatory diet, that kind of thing. But, yeah, I mean, health, in general needs to be a whole systemic approach. We always talk about how everything’s connected. And with endometriosis, a lot of practitioners in the holistic field, consider it autoimmune. You know, I think that’s still a little bit controversial, but there’s actually some studies out now too about, basically addressing gut bacteria and how it has helped, you know, endometriosis symptoms, and that kind of thing, right? And when it comes to autoimmune, most of your immune system is in your gut. So we want to make sure we’re addressing that and the connection between your bloating right? that you are experiencing and sometimes I think people will think, Oh, well the bloating just has to do with endometriosis and aren’t really considering that maybe there is something going deeper with the digestive tract but in our six month program we do so much. You know, we obviously did a GI map and we found quite a few things to work on, right? I don’t you know, if you want to share that’s, that’s totally fine. Um, and you know, minerals, obviously we look at minerals, we look at heavy metals and we look at your hormones. But tell us a little bit about going through the program and kind of your like, what drove you to go ahead and decide to do the program? Did you have any kind of fears reservations going into it. How did you overcome that? And then maybe talk a little bit about your journey through the last six months.

Darrian

Yeah. I don’t know if I would have, you know, been able to commit to the program if I had not experienced some of the challenges that I mentioned. Right, which was some of the advice of doctors to consider pregnancy as a way to treat symptoms. If I had not explored some of my own changes that were here and there and not really fully committed or, or backed up by any one plan or by information about me as a person. I was just kind of, I was grasping at anything because I was so desperate to find relief. Um after going through a surgery, which is not an easy thing to do, and then, you know, really not experiencing the changes and the relief that I wanted, so I drew upon, you know, those experiences having gone, what I would consider maybe the more traditional route.

There are routes within endometriosis that are a lot worse. So I do feel that, you know, the average diagnosis time for women can be seven to eight years mine was three. I’ve had some parts of my journey that were not as difficult as others but I really needed that relief. I was just so incredibly unhappy with the answers I had received before. So I I was highly motivated to find a way that actually solved the problems that just that sat well with me. And pregnancy was not going to work. And I knew that not taking a real systematic and holistic approach to dietary changes or lifestyle changes or just my overall health wasn’t working. So I pulled upon those low points to pursue another option. I did not want to consider surgery again, six months after. I mean, it really hurt to think about that. It hurt, emotionally, hurt physically. I was just not wanting to do that again to my body and to myself so. I was at a place of desperation. And exasperation, I don’t know, if I came into the program or looking at making these changes with the thought that I had finally, you know, arrived to the solution.

I definitely felt skeptical from a sense that I had been skeptical my entire experience with endometriosis or that I had to be, you know, that I really had to lower my expectations, which is kind of what I feel like women generally with their health, I would say especially endometriosis, but are kind of conditioned to do over time is to live with pain, and to tolerate things that don’t work. And so I had a little bit of that mentality going in with the sincere hope that it would, but with really low expectations that it could.

So I I just felt like I needed to explore every avenue to avoid undergoing surgery or getting to the point where I would actually consider pregnancy as a form of treatment so I really wanted to it I wanted to explore healing myself from the inside out. I had felt previously that a lot of my approaches or the approaches that I had been prescribed by different doctors was all about outside in. Let’s prescribe you you know an antibiotic, let’s go a surgical route. Never did I feel like people could tell me what was going on inside, what was causing these issues. It was all about treating the symptoms and so I was really intrigued by your approach of let’s get to the Fundamental healing that is needed within and an explore that. And that’s what I felt like I needed the external outside in approaches weren’t working and so that drove me and really intrigued me with the program and I wanted to give that a shot. I want to give myself that shot on that approach.

So yeah, the feelings I had about it, though were a bit fearful. I was coming from a place though, where I felt like so much of what I had done had not worked. And so I totally understand that mentality and that perspective. It can be one of fear because you feel like you had done everything you have checked into a hospital to have a surgery and you’ve met with strangers and had to be poked and prodded and examined examined so many times that you don’t really have a ton of energy left. So that was the point that I was at. I think people could definitely come at it from a place of being highly motivated to to finally get somewhere that that feels right. But I felt like I wanted to take that approach, but I was definitely hurting. I definitely had fear. I definitely had skepticism. But I felt like this was something I had to pursue because I had pretty much exhausted my other avenues.

Sara K  33:14

Yeah, and this is this true, you know, I think a lot of people feel like they have to be 100% ready 100% you know, whatever, in order to take these types of action steps but I always say the pain of staying where you are, is greater than kind of the fear that you have of taking those steps. That’s when you know it’s time to change. And that’s the case where you kind of know that even if you don’t necessarily feel ready, you’re at least willing to try.

So maybe briefly talk about just kind of your experience going through the program, like, you know, what, how do you feel it was maybe different than what you’ve tried so far? What do you think are helped it be a success for you?

Darrian  33:24

Yeah. So going through the program. I mean, it took a lot for me to view myself in a different way. I feel I was definitely conditioned in my life, and especially in the first few years of trying to understand what was wrong with me and what endometriosis was, to not accept this type of approach.

So I think I had a little bit of resistance within me to view myself differently, to give myself more compassion, to give myself time. I think time was a really interesting thing for me. I think I expressed and felt after going through my protocols that I don’t know if I was progressing, I was concerned about that. But I think it was a really long mental shift that I needed to make, that this was not going to resolve my issues in six weeks.

So my feelings of going through the program were I definitely felt like seeing it as a full reset and not a treatment and not an external thing. That was a difficult shift for me. It did not happen immediately. But going through it taught me to look at many aspects of my life and understand where I could give myself more, how could I give myself more rest? How could I give myself more care? And that transformation mentally, I think was really important to happen in addition to the physical healing that I was going through.

It’s asking a lot of yourself and it was difficult for me, and I think I struggled in some areas that honestly looking back or people might see as we’re very easy.  Easy areas but it’s difficult to view yourself as a person that can heal. When you’ve been conditioned to be fixed quickly to be fixed with a surgery or a prescription. And that’s not what the program is about. It’s about looking at all the aspects of your life and of your health and making, conscious changes step by step slowly over time.

And, and that’s what I felt like I was taught and that I’m still learning. I think a very important metaphor that was shared with me was the idea of stairs. So trying to leap from the bottom of a staircase to the the very top is a very difficult thing to do. I would say kind of the medical world but all over, we’re taught that that’s a great thing to do, to jump to jump from the bottom to the top is great, whether that’s in our work or relationships or health, getting to that spot as quickly as possible is generally what we want to pursue. And I really had to slow down and celebrate the victories of one step at a time. I think this is a metaphor that Paula shared with me.

Sara K  37:39

Yeah. She likes metaphors.

Darrian  37:42

Yeah, it was important for me to understanding that going through the program is a series of small steps that will lead you to a much better place. But there is a transformation that has to happen to accept those steps and as as progress and good things, that the pace is a good thing. And that is really only been a very recent realization for me, I would say. When I heard that at first I it really resonated with me, but I didn’t know if it was something I could immediately apply to my thinking and the way that I saw everything. But the process really showed me how to make progress in many small areas to have many small goals and we’re not try to feel 100% better in a matter of weeks or months, so.

Sara K  38:46

Mm hmm. Well said, Darrian well said for sure.  That is an amazing realization to have. And I think that’s what keeps people stuck a lot, right is that they they don’t necessarily give things enough time. But the mindset shift is a huge part of healing. Right. And that’s the toughest, right? And I think that’s where working with someone that can help support you through those thought shifts can be really, really helpful. So that’s awesome to hear. Yeah.

So tell us how you are today. How are your symptoms today? How are they different than they were? How is your life different now than it was when you first start?

Darrian  39:38

Yeah, so it’s interesting the process of going through healing. I definitely had some points in that process where I felt that I wasn’t healing quickly enough where I am looking back and I wish I could go back even now this is only a few months ago. But tell myself that even though some time had passed, and things were going to get better, I do think there is some times have a feeling of that you can, you actually can feel a little bit worse not maybe necessarily physically but you feel worse because you have been putting in effort and you have been putting in and implementing changes and you haven’t felt like you’re seeing huge progress and you can really feel discouraged. I know I did. Because it felt like you start telling yourself very difficult stories that you will not be able to get better. This is another thing that is not going to work for you. And you start feeling really sorry for yourself.

So I want to acknowledge that moment for people and if that has happened to you, that is okay, it may not happen and if it does, you can still progress and still feel better because you’ve been told and and maybe are holding on to feelings that things should be happening at a certain pace but that’s just an important thing that happened where I felt worse emotionally because I felt like my issues hadn’t magically resolved after you know, 60 days and and that I am glad that I pushed through so that I could arrive here which is the the daily hurt the daily pain that I was experiencing pelvic pain, especially bloating, the discomfort that I used to feel every day is hugely reduced and practically gone.

I honestly feel like a different person even just sitting here so sitting was uncomfortable. Every little aspect of your life is impacted and I couldn’t wear certain clothes. I couldn’t wear certain jeans. I couldn’t wear, you know certain waist bands just because they would make me so uncomfortable or I never knew what was going to be coming that day with my symptoms. That’s not something that I think about anymore. That’s a mental burden that’s been lifted from me. That is so amazing. And I love it just makes me really happy to not feel the the issues that I have just kind of hurting me from the inside out.

It’s a really difficult disease and mentally also and I think I’m now realizing that there was a huge, huge mental burden. But yeah, day to day my symptoms, I don’t have the debilitating pelvic pain and I have hugely reduced on bloating I mean those two I mean they feel kind of synonymous the pain and the bloating because it was so frequent it was three to three weeks out of the month, if not more, that I don’t feel that way anymore. And that is so wonderful.

It’s just changed, you know, how I approach things every day that I changed the way that I dress. Like, I didn’t really realize that at the time or the nature with which I sit down like it’s been hugely different in ways I didn’t always imagine and And I also feel like I see myself differently. And that is a feeling that kind of sits with you when you wake up in the morning or you go to bed at night or you make certain choices throughout the day that you’re thinking about yourself. And that’s not something I was very good at doing. I didn’t think about what was going to be good for me what was going to nourish me or heal me or feed me I was just kind of go go go all the time, trying to look for the next fix for my disease. And I see myself differently now and kind of on this new round of things that I’m doing the protocols that I’m on like it’s the shift is so hugely different. I can’t really describe it in any other way but just massive change in my first protocol.

And I honestly I needed a lot of help and assistance from My husband to even put that together to order things to do my test. Because I was in such a different low kind of mental and physical space. I needed help I was really having a hard time like committing and, and being present I wasn’t even used to take. I honestly wasn’t used to take care of myself. It was so foreign, that I needed help to do really simple things for myself. And now, that change today, with some things I’m doing now or things that I want to try things I’m ordering, like I do it all myself. It’s I’m excited. I’m putting my plans together. I’m looking at my schedule I’m putting in time for me, that was not something I could honestly do by myself six months ago. So it’s definitely been a really big change.

My periods themselves are Improved. The pain is hugely improved and the duration of my pain and I feel like I still have intense pain I’d say probably more intense than the average woman who does not have endometriosis but I’m getting a lot better and my periods are a lot lighter. So those are all improvements in those areas and I just I don’t feel like I mean I was gonna say 75% but it was probably closer to 90-95% looking back of my month is not spent hurting. And it’s so great I don’t even know if 10% of my month is spent hurting like I it’s so much different now. So it’s really impacted me physically, which is wonderful. But mentally I’m so much better and still much lighter in a way that I didn’t anticipate, and that has been really good for me.

Sara K  47:07

That is awesome. That nothing makes me happier. Nothing makes me prouder though, as we can tell people what to do all day long, but they ultimately have to go off and do it and change their thought processed and stop making excuses for themselves and put in the effort, right? I always say reward yourself for even just the effort, not necessarily the results because like you said, results may not come right away. But celebrating your effort celebrating taking one step at a time and ultimately not giving up. Yeah, like 70% of a program working is ultimately one that you believe in. So if you don’t believe it’s going to work, you’re not going to do the things and of course, you’re not going to see those changes. So yeah, that is awesome to hear. So thank.

If you were to go back and talk to your younger self, or maybe you were to talk to someone that were in your shoes, who’s thinking, am I gonna have to live like this forever? Is this what’s going to be? Will it work? Is that going to be worth it? What would you say to that person?

Darrian  48:28

So I would want to tell myself that your condition and your illness is not everything about you.

But over time, I kind of started to believe that endometriosis led to all of my issues. Which I think it plays a large part. But I was unwilling look at myself as a whole being and look at my health in a holistic way, because I was to focus maybe on just wanting to treat endometriosis, and being very specific with how I applied my treatment.

And I that is a huge learning for me is that I wasn’t necessarily here to just solve for endometriosis and I think that was an interesting part looking back at the very kind of maybe initial conversations that we had. I remember being extremely focused on endometriosis. I only want to treat endometriosis. I want to understand what experience there had been with endometriosis. Was there other endometriosis people, that is the way you’re kind of conditioned to look at your health, you’re trying to just solve the one issue that you know, you can identify.

And I would tell myself that, this might sound a little bit counterintuitive but, this is not just about an empty tree. This is about you as a as a person, this is about your health overall, and resolving and working on that is going to help. This is what helped this one issue and a myriad of other issues and teach you how to think differently and see yourself differently. And it’s not just about that one disease or the one thing that you know that you have. I don’t think I don’t know if I could receive that message. At the beginning, I just remember being laser focused on wanting to solve this one kind of disorder.

I would tell myself that yeah, you’re going to have to change the way that you think and the way that you view yourself, and you’re going to have to believe that you are worthy to heal. And that’s, that’s not a concept they feel like we’re really told is that we’re kind of just given whatever we can get, like I said, whatever prescription whatever, you know, path forward, whether that’s surgical or you know, what have you that it’s not really about seeing yourself as a, as a human that can heal.

Over time with work and effort. We’re kind of just looking for that quick solution. You play a part in your own healing in the program, and that’s what I would want to tell myself is the program is not here to fix, the program is not here to make you better. You need to be here to make you better you need to show up to make the healing possible. And this is a difficult thing I think for people to hear when you’ve suffered and not been listened to and you’ve been ignored or you know, mis diagnosed. It’s hard to want to tell people that they need to step up and show up for themselves but it’s the only way that the program is going to work and you will have ups and downs you will have lows. You will also end up on the other side with you know, the high of feeling like you have your health back, that you’re playing a role in your health, which I feel like had been stripped away from me in my years trying to understand my diagnosis and understand endometriosis and find out What was wrong with me that had really been taken from me.

And so I would tell myself that you have a role to play that you need to show up, it’s going to be hard. But in the end, the reward will be worth it and you won’t be 100% fixed in you know, 30 days, 90 days. I’m so excited that the journey has brought me here and that the path continues forward with me playing a role in it in a way that I had not, you know, been playing before. 

Sara K  53:41

That is awesome. That is awesome. Every time I hear you speak you bring me to tears. Because it’s just like a proud mother. Ya know? And I know Paula and I, you know, you work with both Paul and I through this journey. So you know, I thank Paula too for her for her role. And in helping to support you as well. But Awesome, well, we really appreciate you sharing your story. I think it’s so important for women to speak up about these things, you know, instead of suffering in silence, because I know so many women who ultimately are almost either afraid or ashamed, or they’re, you know, maybe people in their lives don’t really understand. I know so many women who, like maybe their spouses even or their, you know, family, you know, mother sister, you know, are like, why would you want to do holistic, like, that’s, oh hoo, ha, you know, that’s, that doesn’t do anything, just go to your doctor, just take the birth control, just, you know, do the surgery, whatever. And so, you know, they don’t always have that support and support is such an important part of the journey, you know, no matter who you get it from. So I appreciate that. Anything else? Any other last minute thoughts that you want to share?

Darrian  54:53

Yeah, I mean, I’d like to touch on that idea of support. I definitely had. I had some really great support. I definitely experienced some detraction I guess you could say. And that’s really hard. So I think it’s important to keep in mind that at times when people question your approach are that are doing this program that it’s because they, they want the best for you as quickly as possible. They have kind of the same things that you will unlearn which is that healing comes from the outside in that there is a pill for that, that this should be the quickest way to do something, or the way most easily covered by insurance. So they’re doing it out of concern. But, I would understand that the greatest way to overcome that concern is to pursue the results and get the results that you have. And to keep that in mind, because I definitely experienced that. So I have a thought on just had varying levels of support in my life from people close to me. I know how that goes and to pursue your self regard regardless of what people say. And then, um, I mean, I would want to tell women, that it’s your experience of not being heard is extremely common. It’s too common. And and that there is a totally different world for your health than what you have probably traditionally experienced. And I I’ve been there and I just want to be here on the other side to anyone that’s thinking about stepping into that world to tell them that I know it’s really scary. It’s really painful. But that, yeah, if you can count on yourself to make a change. There is some really great things on the other end, and that’s coming from someone who it felt like had tried it all and was a skeptic, was discouraged, and I would certainly say a little difficult. So, yeah, I mean, it’s an invitation to see things differently to look at things differently. And to understand that your disease is not an isolated issue and a certain part of your body, that your health is an inside out thing and to take the leap, take the jump, give it a test experiment. Because what I’m experiencing on the other side is, is wonderful and, you know, just living without daily pain is how life should be. And that it’s possible for you.

Sara K  58:52

Yeah, well said, Well said. couldn’t say it better myself, so we’ll just leave it there. I really appreciate you being willing to jump on here. And hopefully we can help support more women by sharing your story.

Darrian  59:10

yes,

Sara K  59:11

I appreciate you.

Darrian  59:14

Thank you so much.

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